FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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