yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
