I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
