all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
