I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Randomize
