if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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