You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
