I want to have your abortion
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
