She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
