you lied. pity sex is amazing.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
