he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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