i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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