You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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