Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
