I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
