in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
