Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
