I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
