i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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