i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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