let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize