My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
