I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
