All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
