can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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