R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I have already put on my inside pants.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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