did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
