I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
