if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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