I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
