white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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