I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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