Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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