Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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