i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
