I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I have fence marks all over my body
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
