For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
