Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
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