I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
