i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
