is your mom at the bar?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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