He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
