Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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