My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
