Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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