Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
