Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
