she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
