he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
