I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
